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"How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?"
Customer: "How much do Windows cost?" Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100." Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"
Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?" Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside..."
"I try to avoid using Microsoft. That's why I use MS-DOS."
Tech Support: "How can I help you?" Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not." Tech Support: "What program is it?" Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'." Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?" Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: 'C:\WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and doesn't do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows."
Customer: "File manager? What's that?" Tech Support: "How long have you had your computer?" Customer: "Three years."
"I have a 386 Pentium."
"My brother has a 486 with a Pentium chip in it."
Customer: "The computer told me it had contagious memory. Does it have a virus?" Tech Support: "No, that is 'contiguous' memory, as in 'sequential'." Customer: "That is impossible, it said 'contagious'." Tech Support: "Type 'mem' and hit the 'enter' key." Customer: "Oh."
"My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion." |
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