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586:
The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art:
Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete:
Any computer you own.
Microsecond:
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3:
Apple's new Macs that make you say, "Gee, it's three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a microsecond ago."
Syntax Error:
Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive:
The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.
GUI (pronounced "gooey"):
What your computer becomes after spilling your coke on it.
Keyboard:
The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse:
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy:
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer:
A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash:
A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
System Update:
A quick method of trashing ALL of your software. |
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