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Kempo: Percussion class with people as the drums
Aikido: Origami with people
Tai Chi: Martial arts overdosed on Valium
"Someone once told me that my Tai Chi would only be useful in fighting NFL replays."
"I once described Tai Chi to my fellow classmates as being just like standing still, only faster."
"The idea of Taiji is to yield to your opponent's attack. In most cases the yielding seems to be so pronounced that the idea must be to play on the opponent's pity."
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