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An Italian guy and a Jewish guy went out to dinner one night. They went to a very expensive restaurant and were at the restaurant for a couple of hours, talking and carrying on.
Finally, the waiter came over and asked, "Who should I give the check to?"
The Italian guy said, "Give it to me. I'll take care of everything."
"Fine," said the waiter.
The next day the headlines read: "Jewish Ventriloquist Strangled to Death."
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