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Train

2 blondes walk into the forest and stop at some tracks one of the blondes say those are bear tracks the other blonde says no those r dear tracks 1/2 hour later they were both killed by a train

by (few years ago!) / 6249 views
(Rated 3 Stars - 2 votes)
 

Similar Jokes

Religious jokes

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

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School jokes

What kind of food do maths teachers eat?Square meals!

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His First Time

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"
The bartender asks "Are you having a bad day?"

The guy replies, "Nope, I'm celebrating my first blowjob!"

The bartender congradulates him and says, "Well in that case, let me give you a beer on the house."

The guy replies, "No thanks, if this doesn't take the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

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SURELY NOT MORE BIZARRE REAL LIFE ANIMAL LAWS

In North Carolina, it is against the law to use elephants to plow cotton fields.

In New York City, one is forbidden from shooting rabbits from the back end of a Third Avenue streetcar when it is moving.

In Kansas, people cannot shoot rabbits while in a motorboat.

In Statesville, North Carolina, it is against the law to race rabbits in the streets.

In Tuscumbia, Alabama, no more than eight rabbits can reside on the same block.

A law in Detroit, Michigan, prohibits crocodiles from being tied to a fire hydrant.

Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, New York.

In Baltimore, Maryland, it is necessary to document any services performed by a jackass.

In Ohio, it is against the law to set a fire under your mule if it balks.

In Arkansas, if your 2-year-old mule runs wild and is unclaimed within 2 days, anyone may castrate the animal.

In Marshalltown, Iowa, a horse will be breaking the law if it eats a fire hydrant.

People can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog in Oklahoma.

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, dogs are prohibited from going on private property unless the owner gives his consent first.

In Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.

Dogs are strictly forbidden from riding in ambulances in Westport, Massachusetts.

Wallace, Idaho, decreed it is unlawful for anyone to sleep in a dog kennel.

In Clawson, Michigan, a law specifically makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. But the animals may not be in the house after sunup or during the day.

Florida has a law prohibiting the transporting of livestock on school buses.

If you live in Franklin, Kentucky, you can't legally trade horses after dark.

In Alabama, no mules can be traded after supper when the sun has already gone below the horizon. And in Idaho, you can't buy or sell chickens after sundown without the sheriff's permission.

It is illegal to lasso a catfish in Tennessee and the state of Washington.

In Seattle, goldfish can ride the city buses in bowls only if they keep still.

You cannot shoot fish with a bow and arrow in Louisville, Kentucky. And you cannot shoot fish with a gun in the state of Washington or in Hazelhurst, Mississippi.

It's against the law to get a fish drunk in Oklahoma.

In Kansas, you cannot fish with your bare hands, while in the state of Washington, you can't catch a fish by throwing a rock at it.

by (few years ago!)
THE LONELY FROG


A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.

His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

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lawyer jokes

Ninety-nine percent of lawyers
give the rest a bad name.

When a lawyer tells his clients that
he has a sliding fee schedule,
what he means is that after he bills you,
it's financially hard to get back on your feet.

God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And exactly where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

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Bad Bar Joke

Their is a man sitting in a bar when gay man approaches and says, "If you woke up in the forest and your ass itched and you itched it and got Vaseline on your hand, would you tell anybody?"

The other man said. "NO!"

Then the gay says, "If you reached farther into your crack and pulled out a used condom would you tell anyone?"

The guy said "HELL NO!"

Then the gay guy said "Wanna go camping"

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Blonde jokes

What is a brunette between two blondes?A. An interpreter.

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Dog jokes

Small girl: Id buy that dog, but his legs are too short! Clerk: Too short ? Why, all four of them touch the floor.

by (few years ago!)
FIRE ENGINE

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.

Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.

In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine,
"If that's the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice creams!"

by (few years ago!)
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