Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Train

2 blondes walk into the forest and stop at some tracks one of the blondes say those are bear tracks the other blonde says no those r dear tracks 1/2 hour later they were both killed by a train

by (few years ago!) / 4746 views
(Rated 3 Stars - 2 votes)
 

Similar Jokes

Dog jokes

What did the dog say when he chased his tail?This is the end.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde Jokes

A blonde's car breaks down on the interstate one day, so she eases it over onto the shoulder. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

Out jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurs.

It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the driver of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the heck is going on here?"

"My car broke down," explains the blonde. "Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?" screams the cop. "Those are my emergency flashers!" replied the blonde.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdom While the crowd was doing the wave two blondes drowne.

by (few years ago!)
A Mother's Dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."

by (few years ago!)
Monkey Organization

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming,she stands up in the front of the plane. "Im too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if Im going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well Ive had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. This tall, tanned and built guy with jet black eyes starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one move s. As this man approaches, the woman begins to get excited. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."

by (few years ago!)
YOU’VE GOT MAIL

A blonde went out to her mail box and looked in, closed the door and went back in the house. A few minutes later she went out and looked in the mail box again.

She did this several times and her neighbour that was watching her said: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into your mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer and it keeps telling me that I have mai

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey jackass. Gimme a beer."

He starts a conversation with the man next to him. A few minutes later he says to the bartender "Hey jackass. Gimme another beer."

The men are talking for a little bit and he finishes his beer. He says to the bartender "Hey jackass. Gimme one more beer."

The man next to him says to the bartender "Don't you ever get tired of being called jackass?"

The bartender says "Naw, he haw, he haw. He always calls me that."

by (few years ago!)
Winning Essay

A college "Creative Writing" class was asked by the professor to write a concise essay containing the following four elements:

1.Religion
2.Royalty
3.Sex
4.Mystery
The writer of the best essay would be given a bookstore gift certificate. The winning essay read:

"My God!" said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

by (few years ago!)
GOD TAKES A HOLIDAY


God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"

St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."

God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."

"Hmmm," St. Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?"

"No way!" God mutters, "It's way too hot for me there!"

"I've got it," St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?"

Chuckling, God remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Marriage jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Pain Killers

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context