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Blonde jokes

Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdom While the crowd was doing the wave two blondes drowned

by (few years ago!) / 5643 views
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THREE ENGLISHMEN...


These three English guys are out drinking one night and decide that they want to have a fight. They stagger from pub to pub looking for a likely victim to pick on when they come across a single Irishman in this one bar.

"Watch this." Says the first Englishman, heading over toward the guy, "I hear that St Patrick was a shirt lifter."

"Really." Says the Irishman, calmly continuing to drink.

With that the second English guy decides to join in, "Yeah, and I hear he was a pervert too."

"Is that so?" the still calm Irishman responds.

"I know how to rile this tosser." Says the third Englishman, staggering toward the Irishman, "Hey, did you know St Patrick was really an Englishman?"

The Irish guy casually looks up and says, "Yeah, so your mates were telling me."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying."Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves."The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldnt be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"So the old man says, "I know! Im crying because I dont remember where I live!"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 9

On her way home a dumb blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger A You can park in the handicap zone.

by (few years ago!)
kid jokes

A mother carefully explained to her young daughter how children were created. She used the expression “carrying a child” instead of “pregnant,” but the girl seemed satisfied.
Sometime later, a terrible fire broke out in the neighborhood, and the girl stood by watching. Here is how she described the scene to her parents: “There was this big fire, and a fireman ran into the house, and when he came out, he was pregnant.”

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A man took his wife to the doctors.After a short examination the doctor said"Your wifes mind has completely gone!"To which the man replied "Im not surprised.Shes been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!"

by (few years ago!)
JUST HAVING A QUIET SMOKE


A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings.

After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian approached him and said,
"Now listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me that I'll kick your head in

by (few years ago!)
FREE DRINKS FOR THE BLIND

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!"

The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my guide dog."

"Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a guide dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar where he asks for a drink.

The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my guide dog."

The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as guide dogs."

The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What? They gave me a Chihuahua?"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ?A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Mother: How do you like your new teacher ?Son: I dont. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didnt give me one !

by (few years ago!)
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