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Blonde jokes

A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosur fossils had been found in the area The blonde exclaimed Wow! I cant believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway.

by (few years ago!) / 5561 views
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Blonde jokes

How do blondes pierce their ears?A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

by (few years ago!)
Stay Out Of The Dorms

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:

"How much for a season pass?"

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A guy is dating three women and cant decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one does he end up marrying? The most beautiful one..

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

The priest was preparing a man for his long days journey into night.Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him knowhow little you think of his evil!"The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the Devil and his evil?"The dying man said, "Until I know where Im heading, I dont think Iought to aggravate anybody!"

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago wasstranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that didnot admit Jews.The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, noroom. The hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But yoursign says that you have vacancies." The desk clerkstammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do notadmit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "Ill have youknow I converted to your religion."The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test.How was Jesus born?"Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Maryin a little town called Bethlehem.""Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger.""Thats right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in amanger?"Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly , "Because a jerk like you in thehotel wouldnt give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What a BLONDE will ask the doctor, in the maternity ward?A: "Is it mine?"

by (few years ago!)
THE MAGICAL DANCING DUCK

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some negotiations, they settled on a figure of $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

by (few years ago!)
Women Jokes

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.

"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.

by (few years ago!)
Impotent

Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.

"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Tech Support: "Which format are the images you send?" Customer: "Rectangular, 15x11 centimeters."

by (few years ago!)
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