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Blonde jokes

A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosur fossils had been found in the area The blonde exclaimed Wow! I cant believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway.

by (few years ago!) / 5922 views
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First Blowjob

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 6 shots of Jack Daniels.

The bartender asks "What's the occasion."

The guy says "Its my first blowjob."

The bartender says "Well if thats the case the 7th is on us."

The guy says "If that won't get the taste out nothing will."

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.

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Toilet Paper

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were walking along the beach. A seagull flies over and craps all over the blonde.

The brunette says in a disgusted voice, Hang on the bathroom is just up the hill, Ill go get some toilet paper.

After she leaves the blonde begins to laugh.

The redhead says, Whats so funny?

The blonde says, Well, blondes are supposed to be so dumb and look at her. By the time she gets back with that toilet paper that seagull will be miles away!

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Dog jokes

What dog takes the money and runs fast! A payhound!

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Sports jokes

Kempo: Percussion class with people as the drums
Aikido: Origami with people
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"Someone once told me that my Tai Chi would only be useful in fighting NFL replays."

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Blonde jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless. Where have you been? asked the man. I cant believe you left me down there! I couldnt get the tailgate open!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that its empty, and goes back inside.Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that its still empty, and goes back in.The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?"The blonde replies, "Darn right theres a problem! My computer keeps on telling me Ive got mail!"

by (few years ago!)
A veterinarian surgeon

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.

At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. Is this the vet? asked an elderly ladys voice.

Yes, it is, replied the vet, Is this an emergency?

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why was the blonde in the tree?A. Because she was raking up the leaves!

by (few years ago!)
A LUCKY BREAK

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are yer absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the cop. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank God for that, I thought I was crippled."

by (few years ago!)
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