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Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure Why, officer asks the blonde Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.""Oh my goodness exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus

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Lawyer's Dog

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, b-lines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"

"Absolutely," the lawyer responded.

The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.

The contents reads "Consultation: $25.00."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?A: The joystick is wet

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Bears in Bars

There is this bear, right, and he walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "Can I have a large Gin and Tonic Please
The Barman replies "Yeah sure, but what's with the big pause
Thear holds up his paws and says "I'm a bear!!"

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Its for my mother-in-law," explained the mourner at the funeral procession. Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, "My Doberman here killed her.""Gee...Thats terrible," commiserated the spectator. "But... Hmmmm... Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?"The bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder and answered, "Get in line."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying."Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves."The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldnt be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"So the old man says, "I know! Im crying because I dont remember where I live!"

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Computer jokes

Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply is to: 1) Divide 2) ROUND 3) RANDOM 4) On a Pentium, all of the above A: Number 4.

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Dog jokes

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear A petticoat.

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Dog jokes

Which dog can tell time?A watchdog.

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Women jokes

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

by (few years ago!)
What do lawyers do after they die?

What do lawyers do after they die?

They lie still.

by (few years ago!)
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