Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure Why, officer asks the blonde Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.""Oh my goodness exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus

by (few years ago!) / 4628 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

Business jokes

10 fun things to do at your local retail store.....
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin, narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
'I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,' and see what happens.

by (few years ago!)
20 Things To Do In A Boring Lecture!

1. Bring a blowhorn. Use it when you ask or answer a question.

2. Heckle the professor.

3. Hire a video crew to come to the class. If asked about it, say that you have to tape the lecture for a friend.

4. Bring a water gun. Shoot the professor when his back is turned.

5. Get the other students in your row to do the wave.

6. Bring a small chalkboard to class. Ask the professor if you can borrow his chalk to take notes.

7. Contradict everything the professor says. Offer irrefutable scientific proof.

8. If its a math lecture, claim that the professor misspelled pi.

9. When the professor asks a question, raise your hand. If the professor calls on you, point to someone in the next row and say "He knows." Pick a different person each time.

10. Buy a doll. When you go to class, leave the doll in your chair, along with your notebook and pen. Say that you have an important meeting to go to, and that the doll will be taking notes for you.

11. Bring a typewriter. Use it to take notes.

12. Write a love note. Sign it "a secret admirer". Get someone to pass it to the professor.

13. Get up to go to the bathroom five or six times during the class. Change clothes every time.

14. While taking notes, write vulgar words every few lines. If anyone asks, say you have Tourettes syndrome.

15. Buy a watermelon. Give it to the professor. If he/she asks, say "They were out of apples."

16. Bring a small tape player. Play a tape of the previous lecture. Take notes on both.

17. If its an English class, ask how the theory of relativity relates to Shakespeares "Midsummer Nights Dream".

18. Pretend to be asleep until five minutes before the end of class. Then wake up and explain that you missed the lecture, and ask the professor to summarize what he/she talked about.

19. Bring a can of spray paint. Use it to take notes on the classroom wall.

20. Bring a fully-stocked picnic basket to class. Explain that you didnt have time to eat breakfast.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noti...

by (few years ago!)
The best blonde joke…

I missed the best blonde joke ever. Well, at least I did until I got to Greg Hughes blog. Being blonde I appreciate jokes like these. Update: Greg’s link doesn’t seem to work, so you can catch the joke on Ben Hammersley’s blog.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

Buffy, a blonde, needed some extra cash, so she begged her friend at the highway department for a job - any job at all.

"Sure," he said. "I always have job openings to paint the lines down the center of the roads. Would you be interested in painting stripes?"

Buffy agreed and began working immediately. The first day she painted five miles of stripes. The next day she painted three miles. But on the third day, she only painted one mile of stripes.

The supervisor took Buffy aside and asked her what was wrong. "You worked so hard and painted so fast the first couple of days. Why are you working so slowly now?"

Buffy replied, "Because the bucket keeps getting farther away."

by (few years ago!)
BAR JOKES - WALKE IN A BAR

A bear walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve bears."

The bear demands a drink, but the bartender keeps refusing. Finally, the bear, glancing over at a woman sitting on a stool near him, says, "Either give me a drink, or I'll bite off the arm of this woman sitting next to me."
The bartender still refuses, so the bear leans over and bites off her arm. "Now, get me a drink, or I'll bite off her other arm too."

The bartender says, "Sorry, man, it's not my policy. We don't serve bears."
So the bear takes off her other arm. "Now get me a drink, or else I'll finish her off."

But the bartender says no again, so the bear turns around, eats the rest of the women, and says, "Now get me a drink, or you're next."
The bartender shrugs. "Sorry, we don't serve people who take drugs."

The bear says, "I haven't taken any drugs."
But the bartender replies, "Well, that was a barbiturate."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, Im really confused on this one. Its a tough decision; Im not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows 95 among other indiscretions. I believe Ill do something Ive never done before; Ill let you decide where you want to go."Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why dont I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think Ill try Hell f irst." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell.When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was a beautiful and clean place, a bit warm, with sandy beaches and tall mountains, clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women frolicking about. A smile came across Bills face as he took in a deep breath of the clean air. "This is great," he thought, "if this is Hell, I cant wait to see heaven."Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bill was off to Heaven. Heaven was a place high above the clouds, where angels were drifting about playing their harps and singing in a beautiful chorus. It was a very nice place, Bill thought, but not as enticing as Hell.Bill looked up, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled for God and Bill Gates was sent to Hell for eternity.Time passed, and God decided to check on t he late billionaire to see how he was progressing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill Gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons."So, how is everything going?" God asked.Bill responded with a crackling voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! Its nothing like the Hell I visited the first time!! I cant believe this is happening! What happened to the other place....with the beaches and the mountains and the beautiful women?"That was the demo," replied God.

by (few years ago!)
THE BLONDE TELEGRAM


Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Helpline? Ive just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive!Has the computer stopped working?No, but theres a lot of crackling.

by (few years ago!)
A brain goes to a local bar

A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."

The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."

"Why not?" askes the brain.

"You're already out of your head."

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

A DUCK AND A BAR

ARTHUR GUINESS & OTHER STORIES

Husband & Wife joke

Misc Jokes

Religious jokes

FREE DRINKS FOR THE BLIND

Jokes & Funny Stories About ..

Business jokes

Business jokes

THE YOUNG BUSINESSMAN

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context