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Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure Why, officer asks the blonde Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.""Oh my goodness exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus

by (few years ago!) / 5317 views
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Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?

by (few years ago!)
EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS


A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boys mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white."To which the child responded, "Well, then is God Michael Jackson?"

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Principal: Do you do your homework?Kid: Now & ThenPrincipal: Where do you do it?Kid: Here & TherePrincipal: Put him in the closet!!!Kid: Hey, When will I get out?Principal: Oh, sooner or later

by (few years ago!)
Serving Alcohol at Work

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It leads to more honest communications.

3. It reduces complaints about low pay.

4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.

5. It encourages car pooling.

6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.

7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

8. It makes fellow employees look better.

9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.

13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth."The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said.The man then said, "I have another pair...try these."The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more paid of false teeth...try them."The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address.After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him."I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? Ive been looking for a good dentist."The man replied, "Im not a dentist. Im the local undertaker."

by (few years ago!)
STROLLING DOWN THE STREET ONE DAY


Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, "Covert to Catholicism and get $10."

One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to him and says, "Murray, what's going on?"

"Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it."

Abe says, "What are you, crazy?"

Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it."

With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed. "So," asks Abe, "did you get your ten dollars?"

Murray looks up at him and says, "Is that all you people think of?"

by (few years ago!)
A guy decides to buy a new...

A guy decides to buy a new ceiling fan, but the salesman says, "Well I'm all out of tunafish."
So the guy says louder, "I want a ceiling fan."
But the salesman says, "I told you, I'm all out of tunafish."
The guy frustrated, yells, "I WANT A CEILING FAN!"
Then the salesman takes his earplugs out, and says, "Oh I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. I thought you were a guy who wanted tunafish."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

How is a marriage like a hot bath?A: Once you get used to it, its not so hot.

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a wantad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a verynervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself."I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "Butmainly, Im looking for someone to do my worrying for me.""Excuse me?" the accountant said."I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I dont want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.""I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?""Ill start you at eighty thousand.""Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such asmall business afford a sum like that?""That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

by (few years ago!)
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