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Blonde jokes

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by nand she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said Well, Im done with the Wal Mart lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart

by (few years ago!) / 4787 views
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Blonde jokes

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? Thats where you wash all your vegetables!

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Animals - 4

A man was walking down the street with a baby ape in his arms when a friend stopped him and asked what he was doing with the chimp. "I just bought this ape as a pet. We have no children; so he's going to live with us - just like one of the family. He'll eat at the same table with us. He'll even sleep in the same bed with me and my wife."
"But what about the smell?" the friend asked.
"Oh, he'll just have to get used to it, the same way I did."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

What did the mouse say to the webcam?Cheese.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

God is sitting up in his ivory tower, hes had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so hes decided to go on holiday. He calls all his super-being mates up and they pop around to discuss a few suggestions. "What about Mars," says one of them. "Nah I went there 15,000 years ago," says God, "it was shit, no atmosphere and too dusty." "What about Pluto," suggests another. "Nah I went there about 10,000 years ago," says God. "Fucking freezing it was too." "What about Mercury," says another. "Its nice but I went there about 5,000 years ago, I nearly burnt me bollox off it was that hot, never again," says God. "What about Earth then," suggests another. "You must be joking," says God, "I went there about 2,000 years ago, knocked up some Jewish bird, and theyre still bloody talking about it."

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time, and the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

How does Al Gore spell potato?A: T-A-T-E-R.

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?He was the skipper !

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At herwedding, I was reminding her of the first day she wore her ring. Noneof the other women in the office even noticed.Finally, in sheer and total exasperation, she said "Boy !!! Its sowarm in here today, I think Ill take off my ring."

by (few years ago!)
The exact same answer for each

This simple three question test illustrates how often Bill Clinton must be telling lies.

1. Is the Pope catholic?
2. Does Windows have bugs?
3. Does Clinton lie?

by (few years ago!)
THREE ENGLISHMEN...


These three English guys are out drinking one night and decide that they want to have a fight. They stagger from pub to pub looking for a likely victim to pick on when they come across a single Irishman in this one bar.

"Watch this." Says the first Englishman, heading over toward the guy, "I hear that St Patrick was a shirt lifter."

"Really." Says the Irishman, calmly continuing to drink.

With that the second English guy decides to join in, "Yeah, and I hear he was a pervert too."

"Is that so?" the still calm Irishman responds.

"I know how to rile this tosser." Says the third Englishman, staggering toward the Irishman, "Hey, did you know St Patrick was really an Englishman?"

The Irish guy casually looks up and says, "Yeah, so your mates were telling me."

by (few years ago!)
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