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Blonde jokes

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by nand she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said Well, Im done with the Wal Mart lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart

by (few years ago!) / 5610 views
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office jokes

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it read "Rest in Peace." The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location'

by (few years ago!)
Language Jokes

Language Jokes June 1, 2008 at 8:37 am (Animal Jokes, Animals, Clean, Comedy, Famous Jokes, Free, Fun, Funny, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humour, Joke, Jokes, Short Jokes, Silly) Tags: Funny, Funny Jokes, Humour, Jokes, Language, Language Jokes Language Jokes What language do pigs speak? Swine language.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 2

How do you murder a blonde?
Put spikes on her shoulder pads.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde Jokes

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?

The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what should you do?Take the words right out of his mouth.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?A: A Space Invader.

by (few years ago!)
THE FIRE DOG


A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog.

The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

A male frog goes to a psychic. The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

Medicine vs. Sports

Former college basketball coach Abe Lemmons made the following observations concerning the differences between doctors and coaches.

Doctors can bury their mistakes:
Coaches still have theirs on scholarships.

Finish last in your league and they call you an idiot:
Finish last in medical school and they call you a doctor.

Just once I'd like to see the win-loss records of doctors right out front where people can see them: Won ten, Lost three, Tied two.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

A Engineer and an Programmer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Engineer leans over to the Programmer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Programmer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.The Engineer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you dont know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I dont know the answer, Ill pay you $5." Again, the Programmer politely declines and tries to get to sleep.The Engineer, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you dont know the answer you pay me $5, and if I dont know the answer, Ill pay you $50!"This catches the Programmers attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Engineer asks the firs t question: "Whats the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Programmer doesnt say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Engineer. Now, its the Programmers turn. He asks the Engineer "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Engineer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail. After about an hour, he wakes the Programmer and hands him $50. The Programmer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The Engineer, more than a little miffed, shakes the Programmer and asks "Well, so whats the answer?" Without a word, the Programmer reaches into his wallet, hands the Engineer a $5 bill, and turns away to get back to sleep.

by (few years ago!)
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