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Blonde jokes

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by nand she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said Well, Im done with the Wal Mart lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart

by (few years ago!) / 5313 views
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Women Jokes

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Doctor Sawbones speaking. Oh, doctor, my girlfriends just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in, say, three or four weeks time?

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Jokes

The Louisiana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in St. Tammany, Jefferson & Orleans Parish.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as "little bells" on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators, unexpectedly.

They also advise the carrying of "pepper spray" in case of an encounter with an alligator. It's also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity and be able to recognize the difference between young alligator and adult alligator droppings.

Young alligator droppings are small, contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.
Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Why is it dangerous to let your mans mind wander?A: Its too little to be out alone.

by (few years ago!)
TRICKS OF THE TRADE


There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say, I'm a lawyer."

So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said no, he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning.

She said, "Oh!!!! Your a lawyer?"

He said, "Why yes I am!", so they went to his place and when they were in bed, screwing, he started to laugh to himself.

When she asked what was so funny, he answered,"Well, I've only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing someone!"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon ?Melon-collie !

by (few years ago!)
JUST SHOWING OFF


This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out.

Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again.

Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing.

About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the hell are you doing that?!"

The first guy responds, "oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk."

"WOW!" exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!" So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below.

The bartender looks over to the first man and says, "Superman, you're an asshole when you're drunk."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Redmond, WA --Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will...

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?A: Double-dumb.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together A They heard that under seventeen werent dmitted.

by (few years ago!)
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