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Blonde jokes

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractiv A Her ankles.

by (few years ago!) / 530 views
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Religious jokes

Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. "Gladly," responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at once to the "appreciation" column. There he read: "The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given."

by (few years ago!)
AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE


An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.

The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.

At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:

"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

by (few years ago!)
THE PROFESSOR OF ECONOMICS


An economics professor at school had a strict policy that the hourly examinations were to be completed at the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell would take a zero on the exam.

Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in. The professor looked at him and said, "Don't bother to hand that paper in... you get a zero for continuing after the bell."

The guy looked at him and said, "Professor, do you know who I am!"

The professor replied, "No, and I don't care if your dad is president of the United States...you get a zero on this exam"

The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted, "You mean you have no idea who I am?"

The professor responded, "No, I've no idea who you think you are."

With that, the guy said "Good!" plunged his exam into the middle of the stack of other student's exams, and did a hasty retreat from the examination room

by (few years ago!)
My Daddy Is A Lawyer

While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two five-year-old boys were getting acquainted.

My name is Joshua. Whats yours? asked the first boy.

Adam, replied the second.

My daddy is a doctor. What does your daddy do for a living? asked Joshua.

Adam proudly replied, My daddy is a lawyer.

Honest? asked Joshua.

No, just the regular kind, replied Adam.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

One day, a blonde man was telling his priest a Pollack joke, when halfway through the joke, the priest interrupted him.

"Don't you realize that I'm Polish?" asked the priest.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," the blonde man apologized.

The blonde man continued, "Do you want me to start over and talk slower?"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why is the blondes brain the size of a pea in the morning?A: It swells at night.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

I worked with a lovely blonde individual who plugged her power strip back into itself. For the life of her, she could not understand why her computer system would not turn on.

Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"

Blonde: "Well, my boyfriend likes to get up there on that Internet, and he downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"

by (few years ago!)
Vice President of Peas

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!".

"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.

A clerk answers and Tom says "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?"

The clerk replies "Canned or frozen?"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly The collie wobbles.

by (few years ago!)
FINAL REQUESTS


A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales.

"Why Bloomingdales?" asked the rabbi.

"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

by (few years ago!)
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