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Blonde jokes

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?A: A Space Invader

by (few years ago!) / 585 views
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Men jokes

Men are like soap operas.Theyre fun to watch, but dont believe everything you hear.

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

However, he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?A: To turn the blinker off.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde Detective

A policeman was interviewing three blondes who wanted to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hid it. "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answered, "That's easy! We'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman said, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashed the picture at the second blonde and said, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggled, flipped her hair and said, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily replied, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing, because this is a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he showed the picture to the third blonde and said, in a very testy voice, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" He quickly added, "And think hard before answering, so you don't say something completely idiotic."

The blonde looked at the picture intently for a moment and said, "Hmmmm...The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman was stunned speechless, because he honestly didn't know whether the suspect wore contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer...Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file, and I'll get back to you on that." He left the room and went to his office, checked the suspect's file in his computer, and came back beaming. "Wow!" he said, "I can't believe it...It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! But how were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses, because he only has one eye and one ear."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How did the blonde die ice-fishing?A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?Wire haired terriers !!

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who dont know. Those who know are no problem.Those who dont know are also in two groups.One is those who dont know and know they dont know. Well, they can learn!But then, there are those who dont know, and dont know they dont know. And they become unit managers!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

by (few years ago!)
SO CORNY IT HURTS!

A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?"

"I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?"

"I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor last week and he told me that I should drink less."

by (few years ago!)
Graphaholics Anonymous

1. We admit we are powerless over the need to create graphics

And that our life revolves around "making one more graphic before I_________________." (insert one: "go to bed, feed the cat, cook supper, go to work...")

2. We believe that a power greater than ourselves exists, and it's name is PaintShop Pro.

3. We have made the decision to turn our lives and what skill we have over to the care of Graphics utilities, that they may help us create that which we cannot do on our own.

4. We have made, and continue to make, a searching and fearless inventory of the web to find copyright free graphics, and also of our computers, that we may delete old graphics to make room for new ones.

5. We admit that we cannot make good, modem friendly, graphics without the help of Gifwizard and L-view Pro.

6. We are entirely ready to let any graphics utilities we can find remove all defects from our graphics.

7. We humbly ask that our computers not crash due to all the graphics stored therein.

8. We have made a list of all the persons who make better graphics than we do And are willing to try and outdo them.

9. We admit our jealousy of those that make better graphics than we do and Appeal to them whenever possible to teach us how they did it.

10. We continue to take inventory of our hard drives and web sites and promptly remove Any "amateur" ("how could I have thought that was good?") Graphics that we find.

11. We seek, through "help files" and source code, to learn every nuance of Other's' secrets so that we will always be making better graphics.

12. We have had a spiritual awakening as a result of stealing other's ideas. We have tried to help all other novice graphic junkies to make better Graphics by sharing our knowledge (but not enough that they make better graphics than us)

by (few years ago!)
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