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Blonde jokes

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?A: A Space Invader

by (few years ago!) / 562 views
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DRINKING VOCABULARY CHALLENGE

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Innovativ
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon


Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate


Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefullyenjoying himself,when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of hishead with a hugefrying pan.Man: "What was that for?"Wife: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the nameMarylou written onit?"Man: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races?Marylou wasthe name of one of the horses I bet on."The wife looked all satisfied and goes off to work around the house.Three days later he isonce again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying panswatting.Man: "What the hell was that for this time?"Wife: "Your horse called."

by (few years ago!)
FOOLING THE PROFESSOR


Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. However, they decided to party instead. So, when they went to the test, they decided to tell the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tyre and they needed a bit more time to study.

The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to separate classrooms to take the exam. Each shrugged and went to two different parts of the building. As each sat down, they read the first question.

"For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom."

At this point, they both thought that this was going to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with ease.

Then, the test continued... "For 95 points, tell me which tyre it was."

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? One dollar. You dont know your arithmetic. You dont know my father !

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?No one knows, its never happened.

by (few years ago!)
Office Jokes

The purpose of this Buzz is to create and find out some humor in the dull life of office. So, I invite everyone to share jokes, comic stories, pics or any thing hilarious related to office. And we will also share our personal interesting or some kind of stupid experiences at our offices (honestly is the best policy). I know that everyone goes through some amusing mistakes specially when you are new at office. Lets' start.

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Jokes

A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another".
The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".

As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"

The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."

The bartender says "Geez, what did you say."

The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Redmond, WA --Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will...

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms--so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being on Monday, they decided to go to the Uuniversity of Virginina to party with some friends.They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and tiredness, they overslept all day Sunday and didnt make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found professor Bonk after the final and explained to him how they missed the final. They told him they went up to the University of Virgina for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didnt have a spare. They couldnt fix it for a long time and were late getting back to campus.Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the following day. The two guys, elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet. He told them to begin.They looked at the first problem which was something simple about molarity and solutions; it was worth 5 points. "Cool," they thought, "this is going to be an easy final". They then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on it. The question contained only two words: (95 points) Which tire?

by (few years ago!)
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